Oh Monday.....you make a good first day off.

It was a long weekend at the jail. Nothing really happened and it was quiet all weekend. On Saturday I got to work intake from noon to 6pm. It was pretty slow, and I booked 2 people. One of those 2 people stayed with us, while the other one got to go home.

The one that stayed was quite interesting. He was picked up for having a lot of meth on him and he had obviously been up for days on end. When he came up the elevator, I let the deputy who brought him in go and do his paperwork, which is what I normally do if the new arrest is not combative. Well all this was fine and dandy until I asked him to empty his pockets. This is where the whole thing started to get weird.

When he emptied his pockets he had the normal stuff like a wallet and some paper. But one thing went into the bucket that made me go "hmmm". He put a c**k ring in the bucket. Yes a c**k ring. Do I need to explain what one of those is? If so, email me and I can explain.......I think. Quick explanation is that a c**k ring is used for enhanced pleasure during whoopee.

Ok so this was weird enough, but it really did not phase me. What I found next is what made me really go "HMMMMM".

I started doing my pat search and I felt something in the back of his pants. I immediately told him not to move and put the handcuffs back on him because I was not sure if what I felt was a weapon or not. When the cuffs were on, I asked him if he had any weapons on him or more drugs that I should know about. He said no. I then asked him what was in his pants then. He told me he did not know what was back there. HUH? What? So I start to check and see what is in his pants. What did I find? What was it, you ask? It was a bright, metallic turquoise vibrator. Yes, this man had a vibrator wedged in between his butt cheeks.

I was stunned.

I quietly put the vibro friend in the bucket and finished my search with nothing else weird popping up.

Later on while I was booking this guy in, I looked at him in what must have been a puzzled look because he said "whats on your mind?"

I told him that I was not trying to be rude, but why on earth did he have a vibrator in between his butt cheeks. I had to try really hard to not laugh because this guy was very defeated and down in the dumps. He simply replied that he had no idea why the vibrator was in his pants. Confused, I asked "how can you not know you have a vibrator in your butt cheeks?"

Then he gave me the most honest answer I think I have ever heard in the jail. He told me he had bee up for almost 3 weeks straight smoking meth. At this moment is when the AH-HA light bulb went on in my head. It all made sense now. If I was up for 3 weeks straight smoking drugs, I suppose I would also have no clue why there was a vibrator stuck between my butt cheeks!!

Man I love my job sometimes. Not many people get this kind of entertainment at their jobs!!

Meth is the most evil drug I have ever come across. I cannot believe how bad it messes people up.

So after Saturday, I am grateful for a nice quiet Monday at home with Ellie. Speaking of which, we started her quiet time for her nap about 5 minutes ago and she is already out. Looks like I will go outside while she is sleeping and get a start on mowing the lawn.

Have a great day and don't misplace any vibrators!! :)

Greg