E the Red Assed Riendeer......

.....Had a very red, shiny ass. So we get to Wal.mart tonight and E is ridiculously grumpy. I am talking screaming, crying, and throwing a total temper tantrum. I figure part of it is because she has not been herself lately (which I am thinking is maybe a growth spurt) and she has been getting a regular routine of tyle.nol to help her feel better. I decide to run to the car to get the miracle medicine and while I am out there I say to myself, I say "self, maybe you should grab a diaper and some wipes. Maybe she needs a clean butt." Ok so I grab the wipes, diaper, and the grape wonder drug and return to the store. I can tell right where E and K are because she is the only screaming, crying 18 month old in the whole damn store.

I find the 2 ladies and give E her medicine, hoping that it would help. It did not. So I decided to take her to the bathroom and change her because she felt a little wet. We get to the bathroom and the butt of her jeans are wet. Hmmm, weird I say to myself. I take off the pants and there I see a gross yellow/brown combo color all over the bottom of the diaper. Well this is not going to be good, I am thinking. I take off the diaper and what do I see? A gross, flattened poop/pee filled diaper. Oh and a blazing red ASS! Poor girl, I felt so bad for her and felt like a shitty parent to not notice that she had pooped. We ate at McD's and K smelled her butt before we went to visit E's new daycare and had not smelled the poo, however the poo had obviously been there a while because it was as flat as a pancake. To top it off a man walked in and looked at E, who was screaming again, and then must have spotted the fire engine red butt she had, because he gave me the dirtiest look I have received in a long time. I was mad as hell that he looked at me like that, and wanted to tell him to F**k Off and mind his own business, but really I was just plain embarrassed that I let my kids ass get to looking like this.

We had no butt cream with us so I had to just put a clean, dry diaper back on E and hope for the best. This did not work. She was miserable, so I took her home and let K do the shopping. E was sound asleep before we got out of the parking lot. This was not the end of the drama however, as we had to repeat the wiping of the ass and apply cream to help it heal when we got home. After about 30 minutes of rocking upstairs in her room she finally gave me a hug and fell asleep on my shoulder. I must say that I kind of like when she is not feeling well because that is the only time she cuddles with me, and it makes me smile when I get that time with her.

It is now quiet in our house with only the sound of the dryer going. It was a long day, filled with drama and one tired, sore assed little girl. Hope tomorrow is better for my awesome little E!

Greg